This Photographer Should Win a Pulitzer AND an Adult Film Award

Matthias Schrader should immediately be coronated King of Earth for taking this explosively arousing photo of a hot soccer player levitating in front of a sexy Spanish flag featuring a bull with huge balls.

The player's name is Jesus, obviously.

Today in NYC Street Signals

Everyone knows that all New Yorkers need to be flipped off at least once a day. We deserve it! But sometimes you just get tired from flipping people off all the time, you know? It's hard work, keeping up with all the assholes you see everyday who need to be told to go fuck themselves, repeatedly.

Well now some merry prankster has decided to help us all out with the telling of the people to shove it up their fucking bungholes—by sprinkling some pixie dust at several pedestrian signals along 3rd Street, turning the blinking red hands telling you to stop, motherfucker into (semi) permanent bird flippers. Genius.

Now instead of having to spend so much time signaling to our fellow New Yorkers that they can fucking suck it, dickwad, we can all spend more time doing more important things with our hands as we walk down the street, like giving each other Hand Dingos.

A Clip in Honor of Traditional Marriage

In honor of Rush Limbaugh's recent nuptials, a clip that he can enjoy on his honeymoon.

Gaymerica Mourns: Rue McClanahan RIP

This Golden Girls death trend absolutely must stop because it's getting depressing. Rue was only 76! She did a sex scene in that Sordid Lives cable series just a couple years ago!

But now all we have is memories. I remember when I was just a young boy five years ago and I'd just moved to NYC. I was starting a new job in Chelsea and I had to be there on my first day at 1:30. Tragically, Rue, Betty, and Bea were appearing at Barnes and Nobel on 6th Avenue to sign copies of their recent DVD at 12:30. Not enough time! I decided to go and at least get some photos. But the ladies took their sweet time coming out to the table, and by the time 1:15 rolled around I knew i would have to leave without even getting a glimpse.

But then, like the Angel Gabriel appearing to the Virgin Mary, Rue McClanahan descended from a side entrance and started making her way through the crowd toward me (and toward the back room where Bea and Betty were camped out, probably sipping vodka and insulting each other). My sweaty fingers snapped a few priceless pics as she waltzed through her sea of fans smelling of Mint Juleps and collard greens. After a few quick snaps, I dashed off to work, satisfied that I'd just been within a few feet of the great lady who once uttered the immortal words, "Let's rent an adult video, drink mimosas, and french kiss the pillows!"




Let's honor our Rue by watching one of her best ever Golden Girls scenes, from the season 1 episode "A Little Romance."

Jesus Picture of the Day

The above image is brought to you by Planet Dan, and I'm stealing it because it is the most moving rendering of Jesus I've seen since the Sexy Jesus competition I went to in San Francisco a few years back.

For those godless sodomites among you who have never even opened a Bible (hey Dani! hey Jack!), this picture depicts the raising of Lazarus from the dead by Jesus, who has just graduated from Hogwarts. That is all I know.

And Jesus said unto him, "Dude, Lazarus, you were hella dead like two seconds ago."