Wednesday, September 2

Who the F**k is This Dr. Oz A**hole?

My job doesn't provide me with decent access to daytime teevee, so I'm a little slow on the uptake when it comes to new daytime television celebrities. I know Ellen, I know The View, I know Regis. God knows, we all know Oprah. (She's the one with the magazine.) But who is this goddamn Dr. Oz douchebag who can't ever wear normal civilian clothes? Did they take away his entire wardrobe once he became a surgeon?

I myself don't trust a man wearing OR scrubs on daytime television unless they are open to the navel. Because then you know that you're watching Days of Our Lives and that you are about to escape into the sylvan paradise of Dr. Mike Horton's manchest. (Is he still on that show? Haven't watched since the '80s.)

Dr. Oz, if you're going to try to sell me drugs, a lifestyle, a talk show, an exercise regimen, a raw-food diet, or whatever, you better at least have the decency to take that top off. Otherwise, I'm not listening.