Tune in Tokyo Successfully (If Fleetingly) Placed on a Bookshelf at the Strand Bookstore, NYC

Fans of my book Tune in Tokyo have obviously been clamoring for the book to be available in bookstores and not just for sale on Amazon. They've been climbing walls, overturning police cars, and setting themselves on fire in desperate attempts to have their voices heard. I feel your pain, dear readers. I also wish that bookstores would heed the wishes of the people. The people will not be silenced! It's almost exactly like what's going on in Egypt now. (Awesome/Tasteless Segue Into Topical Subject Award, please.)

Anyway, none of this is true, but if it were, fans of Tune in Tokyo would have been celebrating for roughly two hours last Thursday, when the book was placed on a display shelf downstairs at the mighty Strand bookstore here in NYC. The Women's National Book Association (of which I'm a member, because I'm every woman, as you know) was holding its first open mike night and I was on the standby list, yay! I didn't get a chance to read, but since I was on the list my book got some good face time on the display shelf of readers' works.

Another open mike night at the Strand is in the works for the spring, so hopefully my book will be available to buy at one bookstore in the world for two more hours in late April/early May. A victory for the people, in other words.

Snowdickpocalypse

As you probably know, snow has eated New York once again. But the real story is the one that the local news is afraid to report, the one about the trickster bandits making their way through Brooklyn in the wake of the storm, slithering under the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway and defacing snow-covered cars with their chilling gang symbol, a stubby dick with prickly balls.

If your car has been tagged, you should report it to your closest gas station attendant or librarian. They will surely know what to do. (Don't ask a barista. They usually just try to get you to come to their band's next gig, and you don't have time for that bullshit.) You should also check under the hood of your car for dildos. Brooklyn gangs love to leave behind dildos as a warning. (Helpful dildo-hunting hint: they're usually stubby, with prickly balls.)

Long Walk on the Beach

Folks, I've started contributing to a great site called The Nervous Breakdown, and this is my first story, an ode to Dad...

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Dad always loved taking the long way to wherever he was going. If there was a way to get to school, church, or the Little League baseball field that involved twisting and turning our way through the backroads of Raleigh until all us kids were turning green and ready to hurl, that was the route Dad preferred to take. Just like in that Robert Frost poem.

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Unsolicited Advice for Michael, the iTunes Gift Certificate Sample Recipient

You know, Apple usually has impeccable taste in commercials/promotions/whatever. They're always so well-played, hip but not too cloying. But I'm going to have to go ahead and call foul on the sample iTunes gift certificate they've put together to show customers how their message to the recipient will look. Because it's just weird. Brian apparently went to a party at Michael's house last night and had a great time, so naturally he decided that instead of writing Michael a nice message on his Facebook wall he'll buy him an iTunes gift certificate. Sure, that's fine. Brian also writes him a note:

Michael,

Thanks for the great party last night. The food was excellent as was the company. Here's a little gift to help you out with the next one.

Brian

So, Michael, I don't want to be the bringer of awkward news, but Brian wants to get in your pants, I'm thinking. He's flirty, he's complimentary, and he's bought you some free downloads (that's the "giving someone flowers" of the early 21st century) as a not-so-subtle way of suggesting you invite him to your next party, the naked one. And Michael, I'm really not just seeing what I want to see. I've talked about this with my friends Ruth and Mike, who tipped me off about this weird message when they bought me an iTunes gift certificate recently. So I'm, in turn, tipping you off. I'm only trying to help, Michael. Because there's nothing worse than having to face a dude showing up at your next party in a lycra top and Superman Underoos who clearly will not be let down easily. (Trust me, I've been there.) Don't say you weren't warned.

Kthxbye,

seetimblog

Been and Gone: Trish Keenan from Broadcast

You know what I'm really tired of? People dying. Trish Keenan was the lead singer of woozy drugged-out retro-futurist space poppers Broadcast and she has died at the age of 42—42!—from complications from pneumonia. So sad. Just not right at all.



R.I.P., Miss Keenan.

Stay alive, folks.