Tuesday, August 18

This Common Seal Is Not Convinced that Sarah Palin Actually Knows What "Orwellian" Means

Also known as a "harbor" seal, this common seal really wishes that Sarah Palin would give him a break.
And this isn't an elitist seal, either. This seal is from Point Lobos, California, where seals live off the land and don't go to fancy ivy league schools where they learn how best to hate America. Still, this seal's favorite book is Animal Farm, so he knows his Orwell, and Sarah Palin, this seal believes very strongly, has no idea who the f*ck George Orwell was.

Sarah Palin, the now fulltime moose f*cker from Alaska, has lately taken to spending her weekends drinking meth cocktails and Facebooking, with results like:

Health care by definition involves life and death decisions. Human rights and human dignity must be at the center of any health care discussion.

Rep. Michele Bachmann highlighted the Orwellian thinking of the president’s health care advisor, Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel, the brother of the White House chief of staff, in a floor speech to the House of Representatives.

"Riiiiiiiiight," said the seal. "Who taught her that word? Bill Kristol?"

I'm with the seal. The last time the word "Orwellian" was used by an American politician, it was John Kerry, and Sarah Palin thought he was speaking French.

In conclusion, Sarah Palin will now shoot this seal from a helicopter, in typical Orwellian fashion.