Sunday, October 9

A Final Comment on America's Snowbilly Sweetheart

Many of my readers have been asking me, "Tim, why haven't you commented on the shocking news that quitter Sarah Palin is quitting the GOP race she was never in?" Well, I'm heartbroken, obviously. The primary so far has been completely lacking in maniacal gerund use, word soup, and tragicomic campaign bus magic, and Sarah Palin was our last hope for any of that. I mean, really, even Rick Perry isn't going to have the balls to say something like "I want to help clean up the state that is so sorry today of journalism. And I have a communications degree."

It's a tragedy. Especially for me, because as you might remember, I secured the first interviews with Governor Palin before Charles Gibson and Katie Couric got their talons on her, before we even knew she liked to say "you betcha" and "terrrrrists" and "Bill Ayerrrrrrrs" and all that dumb garbage all the time, forever. So I know Palin on a much deeper level than anyone else, including Greta van Susteren. The woman I met and chatted with back then has really made a lot of money/spread her wings like a proud eagle and flown. Right into traffic. On the top of a bus. It's depressing that she's giving up the dream of becoming our first white trash Grifter-in-Chief. Who are we turn to, for freedom?

Maybe this clown?