Showing posts with label shameless plugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shameless plugs. Show all posts

Sunday, December 11

Shameless Plugs: Merry Monsters!



Folks, I think it's about time for another Tim Stamp of Approval because 'tis the season and all that. What, I can hear you asking, is my favorite new product on the market? The answer is going to save your Christmas: Merry Monsters.

These dolls are handmade, adorable, and best of all, they have hilarious backstories! Take Sasha, for instance:

Meet Sasha. She's a monster of the very kindest kind. Although most of her counterparts are ravenous carnivores, Sasha is a vegetarian. She is a friend to all animals and humans. She's never met a stranger. She's the monster that will approach you in the grocery store and advise you not to purchase the grapes because the current batch is sour. She's the monster that will sit beside you on the bus to talk about the weather. She's the first one at the water cooler to talk about last nights episode of "30 Rock". Don't worry, she understands quiet time too, always willing to just sit and hold your hand.

Sasha, who currently resides on my bed, obviously has great taste in teevee shows, and she's got Tina Turner hair to boot.



But things get even cuter, because here comes Iggy:



Meet Iggy. Iggy (formally Ignatious; although the only one who dares call him that is his mother. And she has refrained from doing so since the incident in 2003) has turned over a new leaf. Until now, the biggest commitment he'd made was to his punk rock LP collection. It turns out all the stage diving and mosh pits left him feeling a little empty inside. He wants you to fill the void. His exterior may seem a little rough. The truth is he has a heart of gold. He spends his spare time these days rescuing kittens from too tall trees, helping old ladies cross the street and volunteering at the soup kitchen. It won't take much to convince him to come live with you. In fact, you had him at "hello".

Yeah, Iggy and I used to go to the same clubs in the '80s. Anyway, Iggy and Sasha share a bed, but they are platonic, because they aren't really each other's type. But apparently they are both my boyfriend Jimmy's type because he clings to them at night like a lovesick fraggle.



Get your own Merry Monster here!

Tuesday, December 7

Shameless Plugs: My Friend's Commercial Voiceover



My lady friend Carla Rea did a commercial for the Carolina Hurricanes—lovingly referred to in NC as (in a gravelly voice) "CANES!!!"—and it's awesome. The CANES!!! play a competitive sport called "hawky" or "hocking" or "hawk king" (?) in which a small disc-shaped piece called a "puck" is placed on a field of ice and then the players, all wearing ice skates (kind of gay, no?), all proceed to beat the shit out of each other. It's apparently really popular.

Anyway, good job, Carla Rea!

Tuesday, June 22

More Shameless Plugging: My F**king Book, Almost As Good As Sarah Palin's



Get it here. Because freedom ain't free.