My Camera Phone Will Not Be Denied: Some Gay-Ass Window Display on 9th Avenue

It's Fashion Week again, I guess, or something, because good Lord there were a bunch of tedious people clustering here, there, and everywhere in the West Village last Friday as I rode my bike home. The point is, I'm never invited to the good parties. Because there was something Olympian going on at this boutique on 9th Avenue that I had no idea was happening and that you needed special goggles to truly appreciate. Why was this kept from me? Sure, I mostly shop at H&M, but I have very fashionable taste in abs, and I'm on a few mailing lists.

Anyway, my camera phone was there and decided these dudes needed photographing because they were trying so hard.

Editorial: Speedos and Our Precious Freedoms

People, the killjoy lefty media is at it again, attacking our freedoms for their own ideological satisfaction. The Daily Beast's Sean Macaulay has written the most ridiculous opinion piece in the history of Internet jernalizm and it must be called out for its lies, damn lies, distortions, falsities, misrepresentations, deceit, untruths, and fabrications.

In his hit piece on the world's greatest ever invention, the Speedo, Macauley argues that the time has come for a ban on "offensively small bathing suits". I....I can't even relate to that statement. Is this Macauley character even human? What language is he typing? Where is his birth certificate?

Certainly Macauley has a point about the frightening and dangerous possibilities inherent in allowing someone like Rod Stewart or Carson Kressley access to the mighty weanie-bender, beloved by everyone with a pulse. That is because Speedos are not made for men such as Rod and Carson. They are made for men such as David Beckam, Ricky Martin, and some guy named Justin Gaston that I just found out about by reading this awful article.

If you just ban the Speedo outright, you may be saving yourself from having your eyeballs melt to your face at the sight of Arnold Schwarzenegger or Giorgio Armani or George Hamilton or Jack Nicholson in a sagging pair of colored underwear; but you also face the real, and much more chilling, possibility of never being able to witness this guy, this guy, or these guys in the blissful state of undress God intended them to maintain all day, every day, for eternity. This is not only a loss for us as individuals. It is a loss for us as Americans. A tragic compromising of our very humanity that I, for one, cannot countenance.




If we have to live in a world without the Speedo, the terrorists have already won.

Reasons to Join the South Korean Special Warfare Command

As if you needed a reason. Look at those ribs. Why can't our armed forces be this brazenly gay? (Maybe it is? In secret?) Just to be clear: these are not Faye Wong's go-go boys practicing their routine on the beach. These are South Korean special warfare command soldiers doing an exercise during a sea infiltration drill. In speedos. Speedos, y'all.

Obviously I can't join the U.S. military because of gayness. Sadly, I don't think I'd be able to join the South Korean military either--there's no way I'd even get one leg through those things. Would have to wear that Speedo round my wrist.

Speaking of the Korean peninsula, welcome back Laura Ling and Euna Lee!!!!