You know, sometimes you've just got to go somewhere and be gay. Am I right? You've just got to do it. No matter how immersed you are in the straight world in your everyday life--working fully clothed? No Siouxsie or Madonna in the office? No bumps in the bathroom at brunch? No brunch?!--in the after-hours time period, it is occasionally necessary to go out somewhere in your neighborhood and just be a f*cking fag, you know what I mean?
Sure, not every gay has it in him to do this kind of thing day in day out. It's exhausting. But make no mistake, every gay has it in him to fag out at least once a month. It's why Kanye West freaks out at award shows (he may or may not be gay, but he's a total fag) or why Elton John suddenly wants to adopt a Ukranian baby, or why conservative columnist/blogger/author Andrew Sullivan posts Pet Shop Boys videos on his blog in between high-minded diatribes about cap and trade and deficit spending. He can't help it, because he's a big old fag. It's also why someone like me goes out one day and just stone cold joins a gym in Chelsea that features a live DJ who spins under the name Honey Dijon. These things sometimes happen when you're gay, y'all.
So it was in this spirit of gay necessity that Jimmy and I twirled on down to Sugarland, Brooklyn's second gay bar (there are two now), where they were having a birthday party for an 80-something-year-old drag queen ("Grandma"), hosted by our friend Brian, aka Lady Electrify. On a Sunday night, no less. I brought my real camera, because I knew my camera phone wouldn't be able to withstand the onslaught.
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This photo should win a Pulitzer for cultural commentary. That Hitler stache is powerful. It's too bad Michael hadn't put on his red armband featuring a wire hanger. That could have qualified us for a Peabody, for the journalism.
Jimmy trying to butch it up with help from a Brooklyn lager.
Backup dancers backing it up.
This pic for some reason reminds me of the haunted house ride at the NC State Fair.
Jimmy getting Electrified.
I was kind of offended that Brian didn't ask me to be one of his backup dancers, but on reflection I realized my awesome nipples might be too distracting.
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But you know what's really gay? When you try to capture a short video of your friend doing a drag number and your camera starts all of a sudden shrieking about low batteries. This is what happened to me, folks, and it is nothing short of a tragedy, because Lady Electrify was doing "Walk Like an Egyptian." I was able to capture a few nuggets (below), and these short videos will one day be archived at the Library of Congress.
