It’s that time of year again, book f**kers. Time to get out my new Droid phone and snap some shots of the filthy goings on at the blood opera of death known as Book Expo, the annual carnival of dingbat celebrity books, publishing-is-not-dying pep talks, and virgin sacrifices. There was a lot of smut on display this year and I did what I could to capture a few golden nuggets. (Troll down memory lane and read my roundup of last year's monster's ball here.)
But first of all, I must say that there was some grade-A drama on Wednesday morning at the Children’s Author Breakfast, which I attended because I wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The master of ceremonies was none other than Sarah “Gimme Yer Monies” Ferguson, who is (hilariously) a children’s book author and who is also, of course, embroiled in a “pay-to-play-with-my-ex-husband-Andrew” scandal. Needless to say, the press was out in full force because they are tedious children.
When we were in line for the breakfast, some dingbat CBS reporter of the NILF variety started asking folks what they think of the controversy. The first group she asked was clustered in line behind us and none of them knew what she was talking about because, duh, they read their children’s books in caves. If she had asked me I would have said I don’t blame Fergie at all for wanting some money, these are tough times. If I could sell access to Jimmy and my cat Stella I totally would because money means power (and better 3-day weekend options because, you know what, screw Coney Island). But they didn’t ask me.
I must say, she was a total pro. She made a few oblique references to her recent troubles, but otherwise did her best to keep the spotlight on the author panel, which included the guy from Boing Boing (who teared up when talking about his campaign to get books into the hands of kids in poor countries IT WAS VERY TOUCHING), Mitali Perkins, whose new book Bamboo People looks pretty good, and amusing old codger Richard Peck.
It was great, though I can't help but feel that I got the short end of the stick because in the very same room on Thursday morning Jon Stewart was the MC and Condoleeza Rice was one of the guests. But so what/who cares, I got to see the Duchess of York, so whatever.
More disgusting photos below.
Celebrity books are a terrible, terrible thing unless Kristen Schaal writes one.
Or Bernadette Peters.
Gross.
Grosser.
Hey, isn't that NBC's Peter Alexander? I think it is. Since when do reporters read books?!
Stormtroopers! Their memoir Don't Tase Me, Bro is out in paperback soon.
Lord Vader descends the escalator, just like in Return of the Jedi.
