NSFW DEPT: If This Isn't the Photograph of the Year My Name is Madonna

(Scroll down for actual photo, which is depraved.)

I think I might be late to this party, because I'm late to most parties (if I'm even invited), but I have just returned from a wildly religious out-of-body experience after seeing this thoroughly random photo for the first time. WHO TOOK IT? (Pedro Almodovar?) I just came across it over at the gay-as-hail L.A. Rag Mag site but there's no information about its origins. Obviously, that's Madonna in her pajamas in the foreground, but what's going on back there, by the pool, hmmm?

Well, supposedly that is the naked version of her ex-lovah Jesus Luz (which translates to "Jesus Light," for the religious among you). You might remember him from this post. It doesn't matter that he doesn't have a head, because who cares about that? The important thing is the rippled, aggressive nakedness and the priceless expression on Our Lady of the Immaculate Money Shot's face. Haven't you always dreamed Madonna would look at you that way while a ferociously attractive naked man with no head hovered mysteriously behind her? Of course you have. You're only human.

In conclusion, this picture almost makes up for her last godawful album cover.

The Great "Madonna is a Trannie" Debate Continues (Begins?)

God bless the Associated Press caption writers. Sometimes they are understandably confused.

As an important power player in the New York publishing world, I obviously receive the AP's daily email blasts of notable photos that I should know about and perhaps bring up in strategy meetings (catered by Dunkin Donuts and sadness). Not any old person can gain access to these precious images. You have to sign up and create a password!

Anyway, I received the above image of Madonna and boytoy Jesus in my inbox this morning along with a caption that gave voice to an unresolved issue in 21st-century Madonna-ology. It's clear that the overworked monkeys in the AP caption-writing salon have one thing in common with all of us human primates: we just aren't clear on what gender classification to give Madge these days. As Liz Lemon says, Madonna's arms are crazy! She's more man than my boyfriend Jimmy is, and I don't think he would dispute that. (I would let him speak for himself but he's at the beauty parlor getting a weave.) This is why you end up with AP captions like this:



I just can't believe that the Associated Press is suggesting that our Lord Jesus is a gay trannie lover. Sarah Palin's Facebook response in 4, 3, 2, ...