This Irritating, Cute Violinist Makes Me Want to Jerk Off, Throw Up, Cry

This guy. He's a piece of work. So cute. So talented. So smug. It's disgusting and wrong. The woman interviewing him clearly wants him to cut the crap and invite her onto his lap already. And he knows it, which is why he can't help but show off his lightening fast fingers on his stupid violin as she writhes in her chair.

But can he play "Chiquitita" on the viola with as much passion as I can? Probably.

The only consolation I can take from this profile of this annoying clown is that, judging from his feverish fingering, he probably give really awful handjobs. Thus, he's a failure as a human being and should be ashamed.

And I'm sure Connie Francis would much prefer my version of "Where the Boys Are." Connie loves an underdog.