World Premiere of My Experimental New Film: ''Stella in a Cone"

My cat Stella recently had surgery to remove a bulbous, beastly, and bubonic (yet somehow benign) cyst from behind her ear. Actually, it was no longer behind her ear--it was so gigantic that it was hanging off of her head, weighing down her ear, and looking like a freaking testicle. I had had it drained last year at the vet and the very next day it was inflated back up to full capacity. And it kept getting larger, threatening to eclipse her real head and start demanding its own food bowl.

Well, when we visited the vet last week to see if she had a urinary tract infection (she's been pissing on anything soft and precious lying around the apartment), I was appalled at how awful the thing looked under those florescent lights. I decided then and there to have the surgery to get it taken off, and I would just have to sell my dirty underwear on ebay to pay for it.

So now it's done, and Stella is so happy. She's walking with a new spring in her step and has half of her head shaved. (Just like me when I finally lost my virginity!)

But it wasn't all sweetness and light right off the bat. We went through a dark period just after returning from the vet when she refused to even look at me, so drugged up and filled with distrust was she. Sure, it was hard for her to look at me with that cone around her neck, but still, it stung.

This film is the story of our struggle, which lasted an afternoon (and into the evening). (Also, I was sick, which makes my persistence in the face of adversity that much more brave.)

Enjoy.