Wednesday, February 25

Bitter, Resentful Unpublished Author Dept: Most Annoying "Deal" in Today's Lunch Weekly

Lord knows I’m not terribly interested in picking rotten fruit off the Publisher’s Lunch Weekly Deal Tree every week, but some of it is so low-hanging that it can’t help but smack you in the face and demand that you blog about it.

So here we are again, with me—a bitter, resentful unpublished author—bitching about the deals that have been made in the New York publishing world this week. You might think I’m going to single out Kathy Griffin’s just-inked deal for her memoirs. I’m not. You know why? Because there’s something even more hilarious that will soon be unleashed into the atmosphere, like a turd into a casserole dish. Witness:

Jackass co-creator and skateboarder Bam Margera's SERIOUS AS SH*T WATER, a collection of diary entries, travel journals, photos, stunt lists, drawings, collages and sex confessions, to Jacob Hoye at MTV Books, by David Vigliano and Michael Harriot at Vigliano Associates (world).

Yes, that Lunch Weekly blurb contained the words “jackass,” “skateboarder,” “stunt lists,” and “MTV books.” Whatever, that’s fine. This is all fine. I’m a fan of books and, sure, I’m glad (kind of) that Bam wrote one (kind of).

But can I just impress upon you how humbling it is for this nobody blogger and aspiring NY Times Bestseller List chart topper to know that, very soon, Bam Margera will be able to put the word “Author” next to his name, right next to “Sirius Satellite Radio Show Host” and “Inventor of the Garbage Juicer”?