Friday, February 20

This Guy is Gonna Bring Hip-Hop Back to the GOP

Michael Steele is the new Republican National Committee Chairman, and my new favorite GOP hero, beating out (narrowly!) Virginia Congressman Eric Cantor (a white man), who is so smarmy, so smirkily awful, such a freakin' wonderland of douchey Republican whiteness that you just know he f**ks teenage boys. Anyway, Michael Steele, who, despite the name, is (sadly) not a gay porn star, wants to reclaim hip-hop for the GOP.

Everyone knows that hip-hop was invented in the early '80s by Ronald Reagan in order to scare the nation's white folks into voting for him. Well, Michael Steele, in an interview with the Washington Times (somehow an actual newspaper), wants to take back the hip hop party from the libruls and make it Grand and Old. He says that his party is in need of what the kids are calling "urban-suburban hip hop settings." In other words, he got 99 problems but Ann Coulter, a bitch, ain't one.

The GOP must immediately pursue Steele's plan and hurry up before Eric Cantor gets caught f**king a Congressional page.