Tuesday, May 26

Obama Announces Country's First Openly Type 1 Diabetic Supreme Court Nominee

We all look to the justices on the Supreme Court to reflect our own lives, passions, and/or dreams. This is obvious, and it's why I'm not a little bit disappointed that Obama didn't choose Susan Boyle or Harry Hamlin from Clash of the Titans for this highest of high offices. Of course, I'm used to not seeing myself in the Alitos, Scalias, and Kennedys that recent US Presidents have been appointing to the bench. After all, what could I possibly have in common with a gaggle of non-diabetic old men who have never had a dick in their mouths (except Scalia)? Not much! But now that is all changing, thanks to one Sonia Sotomayor, who made history today by being the first openly type 1 diabetic person to be nominated to the Supreme Court.

I obviously have a lot in common with Ms. Sotomayor: the childhood in the Bronx; being a Latina; circuit (court) parties. But the most important thing we share is insulin dependency--and, I have no doubt, a pathological need to eat Little Debbie snack cakes when our blood sugar goes low. It doesn't matter if it's Nutty Bars, Fudge Rounds, Star Crunch, Devil Squares, Zebra Cakes, or Oatmeal Creme Pies; if the glucose dips below 60, we'll be at Little Debbie's house, eatin'.

This is a huge step forward for Type 1 diabetics across this great nation. But not for Type II diabetics. They're still fat lazy slobs.