Jukebox: Primitives!

Okay, I'm ridiculously excited about the Primitives' new album Echoes and Rhymes, which comes out at the end of the month. It's a covers album of obscure pop songs from the 60s and 70s, and above is the first single. You might remember the Primitives from their 1988 hit "Crash," but they're so much more than that! Their first album Lovely contained a ton of bliss pop nuggets that were equal parts Blondie, Jesus and Mary Chain, and Shangri Las. Yes. Go get it.

Their last release was last year's fab EP Never Kill a Secret, which I wrote about here. Go get it. And this new album is their first full-length in 22 years. (Good GOD, 1991 is that long ago?)

Full Primitives coverage here.

Today in Growing Old Gracefully: Dale Bozzio of Missing Persons

I was reading that new book about MTV recently (the same one I referenced a few weeks back), and it was pretty a pretty fun read, with lots of dirt and a few stomach-turning moments. Everyone was such a drunk slut in the '80s. So gross and unfair. Anyway, one part in particular jumped out at me, because I'd been wondering whatever happened to Dale Bozzio, the lead singer of Missing Persons. Beth McCarthy, an MTV producer, explains on page 134:

Mark Goodman asked me to go to his dressing room to get some notes for him--I was the assistant to the line producer, so I would do errands for the VJs. I ran to his dressing room, opened the door, and, um, Les was getting a blow job from Dale Bozzio. I saw this out of the corner of my eye and closed the door very quickly.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Dale Bozzio? Giving a blow job to the executive vice president for programming for MTV? That doesn't sound like her. Why would she do that? To get her videos played, sure, but why else? Anyway, Dale doesn't seem like the type of trollop that would suck on a dick to get ahead. I mean, look at her, does she look like the type a gal who would compromise her integrity just for the sake of some modest airplay on an upcoming cable network?



Okay, yeah she does. But how about we give Dale an opportunity defend herself on page 135 against this scurrilous rumor, shall we? Go ahead, Dale:

I don't have any comment. I appreciate your time, but I'm not interested in being interviewed, okay? I'd rather have nothing to say.

Okay, yeah, she did it. But who among us didn't give a blow job in the 80s for a little bit of airplay? We all did this. Poor Dale. I feel for her, this being the only thing she's remembered for in a 600-page book about MTV. But at least this passage led me to the Google machine to look her up. I hoped she was doing something life affirming and worthwhile, like growing medical marijuana or appearing in dinner theater productions of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was in for a bit of a letdown.

Oh how the mighty have gotten arrested. Yes, Dale was arrested for animal cruelty in 2008, an event that led to the above mugshot being taken of our dear Dale. She was convicted in 2009. So basically, Dale Bozzio has become a crazy cat lady. Except worse: she's a crazy cat lady who neglects her cats. WTF? This is a like an 80s pop singer who doesn't give blow jobs.

Anyway, this seems like as good a time as any to remember Dale Bozzio in better days, so watch this video, won't you?

Jukebox: Pizzicato Five

Time for more Japan love. Pizzicato Five were a hyper-prolific Japanese pop band of the "Shibuya-kei" style (an eclectic mix of jazz, pop, and electro-pop that originated in the Shibuya district of Tokyo) who released bunches of albums in the late 80s and 90s and were introduced to the U.S. in 1994 via the bouncy single "Twiggy Twiggy vs. James Bond" (video above) and a compilation album called Made in USA. P5 are the quintessential Japanese creation in that they took quintessentially American/western influences and filtered them through their Kitschy Nippon Weird-o-Nater to create something wholly and sublimely Japanese. And hella awesome, or, as the Japanese say, "へラ　アーソム".

Bonus clip below of the single "Baby Love Child" in which lead singer Maki Nomiya sings in English.

Jukebox: New Primitives Single!

Everybody knows I'm gay for the Primitives. I'm gay for many things! (I'm gay.) But I'm a full-blown tranny for the underrated fuzz-pop band that time forgot. The Prims got back together for a tour back in 2009 and found themselves in Brooklyn last May playing at the Bell House and IT WAS AWESOME.

So, what's happened now? The band has put out a new digital EP (because that's what the kids are doing these days) and shot a video for the single "Rattle My Cage." And it's good stupendous! Sure, it's no "Thru the Flowers" or "Stop Killing Me," but for a band who's been gone for 20 years it's not a bad little slice of pop heaven.

This will be my springtime jam whenever springtime decides to come. I'll be waiting...

In conclusion, Tracy Tracy is wearing some hella cute shoes in this video.

Halloween Jukebox: Zola Jesus

Zola Jesus is one of the most exciting singers around these days, and her song "Sea Talk" is awesome for many reasons. One of these reasons is the video, which combines three of my favorite things: the movie Poltergeist, sleepwalking, and static electricity.

So on this Friday before Hallowe'en, in order to celebrate the birth of Christine O'Donnell, Delaware's most electable witch, I offer the gift of this video unto you, my readers, all of whom live at Riker's Island serving time for illegally downloading terrorist porn and then selling it to Todd Palin.

Jukebox: Dum Dum Girls b/w Best Coast

I liked the Dum Dum Girls before I'd even heard them because I always support any band named after a Talk Talk song. But then I heard that they weren't named after a Talk Talk song, but rather after an Iggy Pop song. So I don't know what's real anymore. Thankfully, it doesn't matter because once you hear the Dum Dum Girls you forget the question. They're awesome! All tired ennui and lazy, hazy sexfulness, like in the above clip "Jail La La."

I bought their album at Other Music on Saturday along with that Best Coast album you've been hearing so much about. I brought both CDs to the register and the check-out girl got really excited that I was buying them both at once. "Great combination!" she said and I heartily agreed. If the Dum Dums are Blondie with a hangover, then Best Coast, which is essentially a one-woman show brought to you by Bethany Cosentino, delivers the lo-fi power pop album Connie Francis always wanted to make but couldn't because in the 50s it was illegal for women to play guitars.

The point is, summer is almost over, so hurry up and enjoy these jams.

The Tragedy of Forgotten Drag Icons

Ok, so i just finished watching season 2 of Ru Paul's Drag Race, the greatest program ever bequeathed to planet earth by Jesus and his sister Sheila. See above for the absolute best five seconds of television since Dynasty II: The Colbys went off the air. (A close second: when Ru Paul calls Rush Limbaugh a fat fuck. A close third: when Ru says to one of the contestants, Jujube, "Girl to girl, when did you lose control of this wig?")

I have one criticism, though. In two seasons I've yet to see one homage to Siouxsie Sioux, a drag icon if there ever was one.Yeah, I know, she's not American, and for some reason all drag icons in this funny country have to be American, because we're so wacky. What other country is going to give the world Liza Minnelli, Cher, AND Madonna, and then pass the Defense of Marriage Act? Huh?

Anyway, as much as I LOVE this show, its sense of gay/drag history, and its many wild and random non sequiturs, I was a little disappointed at its contestants for not acknowledging Siouxsie's many gifts to the drag community, three decades of deadly serious eyeliner, preposterous headdresses, and f*ck-you fright wigs (that were actually her real hair!) to name only three. I had high hopes when a whole episode was dedicated to "rock chicks." All the usual suspects were honored: Lita Ford, Beyonce, Joan Jett, Teri Nunn from Berlin. But no Siouxsie. This is wrong. Siouxsie is the closest a woman who isn't Joan Crawford or Bette Davis has ever come to being an actual drag queen. Don't believe me? Watch the videos below. All the way through, bitchez.

In conclusion, Siouxsie's eye shadow in the "Spellbound" video deserves its own reality show on the Logo channel.

Jukebox: Cazwell

There are many reasons to love Ru Paul's Drag Race. It is basically the Platonic ideal of a reality show: perfectly paced, endlessly quotable, addictive as hell, and guest judges like Cloris Leachman and smokin' Henry Rollins. There is no more that you need from a reality show than a bunch of drag queens stampeding and fighting over a cart of wigs. There just isn't.

But one of the biggest reasons I love the show is because it introduced me to this awesome song, "I Seen Beyonce at Burger King" and to the gay Eminem brainchild behind it, Cazwell. Most of his songs are pretty filthy ("All Over Your Face," for example), but this one is fun for the whole family. Have your children sing it at the playground!

My Camera Phone Will Not Be Denied: Trashcan Sinatras at Sound Fix, Brooklyn

I've really been hitting the jackpot lately with bands I loved in high school coming to Brooklyn to say hello. First the Primitives last month, now the great Trashcan Sinatras from Scotland, whose lead singer, Frank Reader, I was hopelessly devoted to until just a few years ago, when I heard that he'd gone bankrupt and probably couldn't afford me. (My insulin is expensive.)

You remember them, from 120 Minutes! They had that one song, real jingly jangly and awesome? "Only Tongue Can Tell"? Not ringing a bell? Perhaps you were busy jerking off to Mudhoney. (Who will come to Brooklyn next? The Mighty Lemon Drops? The Sundays? Close Lobsters?)



Well, dummies, the Trashcan Sinatras had MANY AWESOME SONGS and you've been missing out for nearly two decades now. I was absolutely over the moon when I realized they would be visiting my neighborhood record store Sound Fix in Williamsburg last Saturday. It was just freaking wonderful and I STILL TOTALLY LOVE YOU, FRANK READER, SING ME A SONG!!

Jukebox: The Pains of Being Pure at Heart

At long last, TPOBPAH have made a video for their glistening, soaring, and outrageously bubbly song "Higher Than the Sun." It stars a defiantly fey lead singer, a lonely blonde chicklet trolling around Williamsburg looking for tail, and a bunch of furries. Also: keyboardist Peggy Wang is all glammed up, which, hmm. I know a girl likes to dress up all sophisticatedly sometimes, and I would never presume to tell Peggy Wang what to wear. And she looks great! But I prefer her in her hobo clothes.

And because TPOBPAH are pretty much the best pop band around right now, they really should get some more face time here. So enjoy some "Young Adult Friction."

Jukebox: Glee

Jimmy and I haven't started watching Glee yet (our Netflix discs are on their way), but the above snippet almost lives up to the hype. This video is hilarious, what with it's repurposing of a Madonna classic to sex up a few cheap love scenes. But the thing that makes it REALLY funny is the suggestion that dudes that sing Madonna so enthusiastically, harmonically, and with vibrato, want to have sex with a lady. THIS DOESN'T EVER HAPPEN! (Ladies, you know it's true, come ON.)

Next up: Ricky Martin guest stars and bones Jane Lynch to the strains of "I Will Survive."

Shootin' It, in Which Tim and Jimmy Discuss the Issues of Our Times. Today's Topic: The White Stripes' Jack White's Wife's New Music Video

Tim: Oh Lord, get ready for a pose-a-thon. This one's a model.
Jimmy: (silent judging)
Tim: (loud clearing of throat)
Jimmy: Hmm.
Tim: (barely audible removal of eye junk)

[ONE MINUTE LATER]

Jimmy: I kind of like this song.
Tim: Me too.
Jimmy: Too bad about the hair.
Tim: Right?
Jimmy: She shouldn't do that.
Tim: You're just jealous because she HAS hair.
Jimmy: If I had hair I would never do that.
Tim: Even if Jack White made you? For rock 'n roll?
Jimmy: I'd shave my head again.
Tim: Bangs are dangerous.

Jukebox: Monae

This video makes me want to be a sharp-dressed black man with a bow tie SO BAD. Also, it makes me want to be a black woman in saddle shoes and a pompadour for the ages. SO BAD. This video, basically, makes me want to be the opposite of what I am.

SO BAD.

I'll work on becoming these things over the weekend.

Jukebox: Santigold

Lights Out


Good God, I had to go all the way to MySpace to get this dang video. My Space, people. Who goes there?!

Anyway, the spring warmth has infected me with a thrilling and probably ill-advised optimism about my newly repaired bike, my cat, and the health care bill. This starry-eyed euphoria will come crashing down this weekend, surely, but in the mean time, let's just enjoy this infectious pop tune by the nice Santigold lady.

Jukebox: New Goldfrapp Video!!

Ok, I know one of my last Jukebox posts was also Goldfrapp, but that was only a teaser for this one, so stop complaining. Alison G don't disappoint in this gay-ass video. She's all salty 'n sultry in tattered clothes driving a big rig through the desert. The big rig is also a rocket is also a ginormous cock, yay! There's also a voodoo doll and a cripple, both nods to the book of Revelation.

This video will create more gayboys worldwide than "Lucky Star" ever did.

Jukebox: Everything But the Girl

Famous British comedy duo Everything But the Girl--how adorable are they in this video directed by Hal Hartley, a cover of Simon and Garfunkle's "The Only Living Boy in New York"?

The answer is: lots. Lots adorable.

Jukebox: Goldfrapp

Listen up, fanboys and -girls. Goldfrapp is coming out with a new album in March called "Head First," and you know what that means: more dancing girls with sparkling horse heads, yay! I must say, I wasn't terribly swoony over the 'frapp's last album Seventh Tree. Too much toothless hippy-harlequin balladry and not enough songs about fucking robots. But the word on the street is that the new one is a return to the glittery Goldfrapp of old, and to celebrate the reemergence of our Alison in the queue for the club, sitting atop a wispy white horse and holding a riding crop in her teeth, let's revisit the first time we ever saw her on the teevee.

It was, what, 2002? Conan O'Brien still had a show, and Jay Leno was easily ignored. It was a time when one could turn on the television after 12:30 and be assured of seeing a masturbating bear, a horny manatee, or at least Max Weinberg. Into this late-night circus dropped Goldfrapp from Bath, England, dressed for Halloween. When I first saw the band I thought, who are these Swiss Miss weirdos who've just been beamed in from a Weimar-era opium free-for-all? Then Alison opened her mouth and I thought, wow, that's a great Maria Callas sample. But it 'twasn't! 'Twas actual singing! I spent the next five minutes melting. Jimmy and I saw the band play a few years ago here in NYC and that bitch hit Every. Single. Note.

Watch until the end when those high notes just fly out of her open mouth like a flock of seagulls escaping an awful 80's hairstyle.

Fun fact: It was this guy on the violin who inspired me to always wear my lederhosen when playing my viola in public. (To distract the public from my playing, duh.)

Thursday Morning Gymnastics

As you all know, I am dedicated to covering male gymnastics wherever they happen, anywhere in the world. If there are gentlemen writhing around in golden undergear somewhere, I'll spread the word.

Male gymnastics sure do happen in the new video by El Perro del Mar, "Change of Heart." This is exactly the kind of entertainment I was hoping to get for my Sweet 16 Party 20 some-odd years ago. Maybe these guys can perform at my 40th?

Jukebox: "Free Nelson Mandela" by The Specials

It's Friday again and time to dance with your computers, yay!

You know, when I saw this video on MTV when I was a kid back in 1984, I didn't even know who Nelson Mandela was, I just knew that he had to be free. (MTV used to teach you things.) And I would do anything--including traveling down to South Africa with this handsome handsome lead singer on a private plane with a hot tub--to make this happen. The band's later single "Leave Nelson Mandela Alone about Divorcing His Wife After Getting Out of Prison" wasn't as big a hit, but it was a ballad, so you couldn't dance to it.

It was this video that made me want to pursue a career in street dancing, btw.

Jukebox: The Peanuts Gang vs. Belle and Sebastian

This is one of the most perfect youtubes ever made, and as you know, there are a lot of perfect youtubes. It is perfect because it brings together two things that 100% make sense when put together: the Peanuts gang dancing and a song by twee-as-f**k Scottish band Belle and Sebastian that could have been written by Schroeder.

This song, "There's Too Much Love," includes the most exhilarating string refrain of the '00s--the best one in fact, since Echo and the Bunnymen's "Silver," way back in '84, which I would link to a clip of if I could. (Really, youtube? No video of E and the BM's "Silver" featuring those awesome awesome strings? You offer every single season of Golden Girls--thanks, by the way--but no one in the known universe has even a dang audio clip of "Silver"? Do I have to do everything?)

Jesus God, anyway, the soaring strings on this B & S track, which come in at about the 1:28 mark, are so gorgeous it's enough to force a tear from this grown-up gay. Listen to this loud and just try to keep your eyes from welling up a little when lead singer Stuart Murdoch starts "ahhhh"ing faintly above the strings at 2:34.