Friday, July 9

So Who is This "Lebron James" Person?

So there's been a lot of news lately about this gentleman Lebron James and how he was thinking about moving to another city from his home base of Cleveland. This media obsession is really weird and just begs the question: who is this "Lebron James" person? What has he done to deserve this much attention for what is essentially a personal decision? It's none of our business where he moves to! I decided to up and move to Japan one day a few years back--did I get a New York Times cover and a one-hour special on ESPN? (Answers: No and Yes.)

He has apparently decided to move to Miami, incidentally. And why wouldn't he? Miami is perfect. It's sunny, it's full of hot dudes in Speedos, it's the home of the Sound Machine. What more do you need? Cleveland's boring! Mr. James is probably desperate for more stuff to do out in the sun, better shopping, and easier visitations with Gloria Estefan.

Leave master Lebron alone! He's got a lot of packing to do.