Monday, July 5
Sarah Palin's Facebook Foreign Policy Manifesto is Adorable
You guys, little Sarah Palin is gettin' all growed up, sort of! She's put up on Facebook a 5-paragraph essay that her 6th-grade English teacher gave her a ¿- on because she couldn't really tell what it was about or why it was written.
It's really cute, little Sarah's obviously been talking to lots of her friends' parents and those friends' parents' Manichean neoconservative third cousins, and now she's taken to Facebook to show everyone that she knows about countries like Israel and Turkey and Russia and China and North Korea and Venezuela and Africa and that she can type the letters NATO in all caps successfully.
It seems like just yesterday she was drinkin' Boone's Farm and listenin' to Stryper with Todd behind her parents' house and gettin' all buzzed 'n pregnant and then bein' nominated for vice president of the United States of America and then losin' and gettin' all bitter and twisted about it and quittin' her job and then Facebookin' and Twitterin' all up in there and then still bein' probably the front-runner in the Republican presidential primary despite the fact that she's obviously mentally ill.
Sarah's going to do her next essay on how Beanie Babies hastened the end of the Cold War. Margaret Thatcher, who has dementia, will still have the presence of mind to gaze toward America's shores and throw up.